Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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