Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
smell my finger.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
