One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
