who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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