I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
