He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
