Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
