I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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