So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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