As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize