Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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