So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
