I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
