I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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