weddingsv make me drug and hornr
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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