lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a hot homeless man
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
