so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
