the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
