My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
