How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize