I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
