Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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