And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
is wine microwaveable?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
