We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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