party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
