i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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