i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
