Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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