Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
