This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
