He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
