party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i think i have two assholes
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
