thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize