don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
