Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
