We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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