i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
