You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
