A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
