Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
