wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
