I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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