He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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