she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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