All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
