Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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