Where are you?
In a non slutty way
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize