We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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