Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
