So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
