I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
