sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
