I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize