New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
