p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
