so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
well you can't waste a boner
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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