Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
