Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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