So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
