I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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