Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
