i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
