if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
