And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
