Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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