thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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