What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
