Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
