I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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