My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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