If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize