I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
