talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
